Too soon to feel insecure about weight gain?

I'm only 9weeks pregnant and I've already gained some weight, I can see it, I can feel it. 😞 (Backstory...) I had a very unhealthy 2017year and went from 145lbs to 180lbs and I'm currently 185lbs (I'm 5'4). In these 9 weeks I've gained 5!!! And year 2018 was so hard for my self esteem. Then I reunited with someone that I truly believe is my soulmate (he believes I'm his too)... lately I hate too see my big lovehangles in everything I wear, or my double chin when I talk with people. I get SUPER! jealous when a pretty lady passes by and I catch him taking a glimpse, like if he were telling "i wish you looked like that"...

We have fought so much about that lately, honestly I'm exhausted about my own jealousy. I am now trying to eat healthy for baby, but there is so much I can exercise with feeling sick and having two other kids. Am I exaggerating? I don't want to scare him away🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't know what to think...

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