Help! Don’t know what to do.
My fiancé and I are supposed to get married in less than a month. We’re both 39, have been together for almost 8 years, and have known each other for 25 years. We have a 2 yr old daughter. His sister is my best friend and has been since we were teenagers. Yesterday he was getting on my nerves and I got snippy with him and told him to mind his own business. He responded “that’s a good way to get the shit knocked out of you.” I told him that it’s never ok for him to threaten me. Period. He told me I need to grow up if I think he’s actually gonna hit me. His father was abusive to him at a very young age and my ex was abusive to me so we both have experience with it. When I left my ex I left with nothing, literally. I had gotten into drugs with him, so when I left I went to rehab and spent years in therapy working on getting through all the trauma I’d been through with my ex and also working through the trauma of my dad killing himself (while I was with my ex). So I got clean and spent a ton of time working on myself and my ptsd and relearning my worth. My fiancé and I got together within a year of me leaving my ex and he’s the one who made me realize I needed rehab. He’s been an amazing support throughout the years - I went back to school for my BA, then my MS, we had our daughter and he’s been supportive so that I’m able to work part time and stay home with her the rest of the time. He’s awesome with my mom, will go out of his way, unasked, to help her. He’s also got a dark sense of humor and can be really arrogant. I never questioned my physical safety before with him and now, a few weeks before our wedding, I don’t know what to do. We haven’t spoken since that conversation bc he went out (had prior plans) and I went to bed before he got him. He hasn’t apologized and as far as I know doesn’t think he was wrong. I don’t know what to do. Do I call off the wedding? Am I overreacting? Is this something we can work through? Any advice is appreciated!