Should you be mad at your friend for not coming/bringing their children to your child's birthday party?

Question

Recently was my sons birthday. I have two friends that were invited (both have children my sons age) neither showed up or texted me letting me know they had prior engagements. I understand things come up, kids get sick, etc but i have made sure to attend any events we were invited to by them or let them know if we couldnt make it. One friend has missed all three of his bdays and the other has only shown up for his first bday.

Accepted Answer

So stop inviting them.

Answer

I think it’s rude when people don’t let you know that they can’t come. Like, it takes two seconds to send a quick text!

Answer

I wouldn’t be mad. 
Irritated yes if I notice it’s a pattern. I’ll still continue to invite them because it seems kind of childish to make a super big deal out of it. 
However if it bothers you just stop inviting them.

Answer

They don’t have to attend your kids parties. If they said yes and didn’t show up then yeah that’s rude but I wouldn’t be mad at them per se

Answer

It depends. Did they rsvp yes?  Then I’d be annoyed. If they didn’t rsvp at all then I’d assume they wouldn’t be coming and wouldn’t be mad.

Answer

Some people just don't have common courtesy. I get annoyed by it, but you have to decide whether it's bad enough to stop hanging out or if it's easier to maybe call or text a few days before to ask them to confirm.

Answer

I said yes. My SO and I had our oldest in 2014, so she's had 4 birthdays so far. Most of my SOs family only went to her first one (not including his dad, because he didn't go to that one either). For her second birthday only his mom came after we spent $500 on renting a play place for the party because his side of the family has so many kids, because they all said they'd be there. Day of her party no texts and no shows from anyone else in his family and his step-mom posted a "poor me, the kids are sick" but were perfectly healthy enough to go trick or treating the next night in the rain 🤔. Then for her 3rd birthday party I didn't want to invite his family, but told him that he could if he wanted to. He invited them, they all said "we'll definitely be there" and then he got messages from all of them the day of the party with excuses as to why they couldn't come, but were all at his dads house to carve pumpkins that night. So I put my foot down after that and said we weren't inviting them to anything anymore. Last year our oldests fourth birthday party and our youngests first birthday parties went off without a hitch. Yes I understand that things come up and people have to cancel, but in my case they are selfish and disgusting people who don't care about our kids (not just birthdays, but all the time).

Answer

No cause I don’t know what’s going on in their personal lives that they don’t tell me. Maybe they can’t afford it, maybe they don’t want to show up empty handed and feel like they can’t eat there. Maybe their kids don’t like your kids... maybe they had prior engagements that are personal and don’t want to discuss with you. Or maybe they just forgot 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s really not that serious, nor would I be comparing how much you go vs how much they go. We can say all day long we know they make xyz amount of money, that the kids likes each other, that they have a happy marriage but we DONT know for sure cause we aren’t them. I would just let it go and move on, it’s a birthday party not a funeral

Answer

That's a pet peeve for me. A text takes less than 5 minutes, there really is no excuse for not telling you that they couldn't make it.

Answer

In this situation, yes I’d be annoyed. It’s extremely rude to be invited to something and not call or text to say you’re coming/not coming. I wouldn’t say anything, I’d just stop inviting them to things they obviously don’t want to come to.

Should you be mad at your friend for not coming/bringing their children to your child's birthday party?

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