Idk what to feel....

Fair warning, this is a long post/rant/venting session.

Ladies. I’m at a total loss. I feel numb. I’m not sure what to do. How to feel. My husband just called me completely balling his eyes out and said something has happened.

Backstory, his ex from back from some years ago, told him she was pregnant and they were off and on. She told him she didn’t want the baby and was aborting it. He told her this was his baby too but he couldn’t force her to do anything but that he would be there for this baby. He tried to work it out with her but she put a restraining order on him. I’ve seen all the messages between them on Facebook (he saved them all just in case) and the court paperwork. She told him she aborted and that was it. She blocked him on Facebook (I suspect she’s blocked me as well because I can’t find anything and my husband had deleted his social media a few months ago and it having been over 2 years since they last spoke, didn’t think anything of losing those messages. I also just added his name to mine for his family, so It does look like a joint account even though he doesn’t even have Facebook on his phone) he was very open and honest about this when we first got together because he knew in a small area word gets around (which my ex and father of my children found out somehow and started a lot of drama saying my husband can’t even care for the kid he has.). Anyway, we searched and searched and couldn’t find any evidence of a child having been born, let alone a pregnancy occurring, only that she was with an older man and moved out of state with him and her son (who is from a previous relationship before she and my husband dated)

Ok, back to today. My husband went to work as usual and called me on his lunch break. He was completely hysterical and crying and beside himself. It took almost 5 minutes for him to gather himself together to tell me what’s going on. I’m sitting here thinking something has happened to his mother (who he’s very close to and loves very much) but he started telling me that this girl he used to work with back then, who was best friends with his ex, started working at his place of employment today and approached him this morning. She was under the impression that he knew everything that she was about to tell him. Anyway, his ex apparently did have a baby. His ex, we’ll call her by her first initial K, because I don’t want to slander or whatever against anyone. Anyway, K had moved out of state after she told my husband she aborted and did in fact have a baby in another state. This girl that is telling my husband this has been under the impression my husband knew everything about the baby and didn’t want anything to do with her, (I guess it’s a girl.) Well, K had had moved to Mass. (or lives in Mass. now) with her new man right after putting a restraining order on my husband, had a baby and now CPS has both of K’s children. A boy and a girl. My husband helped take care of the boy when they were together, he’s probably about 6-8 years old now, not sure. The little girl, we’re not sure as we don’t know when she was born. The girl telling my husband this doesn’t know when the baby girl was born or how old she is. Anyway, K’s boyfriend/husband, The man she was with, I guess has been hurting the children and she’s been allowing it and a bunch of other stuff has been happening as well and CPS just recently took the kids within the past couple months. This girl said she’s been trying to find my husband on Facebook for the last 2 months trying to tell him what happened, but this stumps me because like I said before, his name is on my account and if anyone types in his name, the account shows up, so I’m a little confused why she said she’s been looking for him but couldn’t find him?

The father of the boy lives local to us and my husband plans on reaching out to him after work.

My husband also called the CPS office for information or to at least establish a paternity test, but it’s closed today in observance of Patriots day so he plans on calling tomorrow. He said he doesn’t know what to do because he knows this affects me and our family as well.

I have 2 girls from a previous relationship, who have no contact with their bio father. My husband has raised them as his own, they love and adore him and to them, he’s daddy. We were trying for a baby and we did get pregnant, but we lost our baby in an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and caused internal bleeding that almost took my life as well and it tore my husband apart. But, we decided to try again, and We are expecting a baby girl in June. Almost 32 weeks along, This pregnancy has been very hard, with a lot of complications. I was out of work for a while and we’ve been told to keep the stress to an absolute minimum. He’s been absolutely ecstatic, supportive, loving and just amazing through this whole pregnancy (not something I’m used to by any means!).

And now this has happened.

My heart is breaking for my husband and idk how to feel about all of this, personally. What if this child is his? What if he wants to fight for custody? What has she been through? I already have my children in therapy due to past trauma with their bio dad and I should be focusing on the end point of this pregnancy and a healthy baby and delivery and now I feel like that’s all going to be pushed aside. I don’t want to be selfish at all. I’m not normally a selfish person by any means and I hate the thought of leaving a child in the system. I know I could bring her into our family and love her just as my husband does for my children. But I’ve seen how his ex, K, is and it would be a hell of a battle and a shit ton of drama and stress. I know that until we can establish whether this child is his or not, we want to keep it to ourselves before bringing extended family into the matter.

I just don’t know how to rationalize this.

**update**

He spoke to the little boys father and found out that she did in fact have a baby girl after the relationship ended and she moved out of state. She didn’t list a father on the birth certificate for the little girl but the boys father was able to send us the one photo he could find on K’s boyfriends profile of the baby. In the picture she’s maybe around six months old, maybe a little older. He said he’s not sure when she was born but knows that she’s over a year old now.