Mother in law overstepping?

Question

So let me be clear... I LOVE my Future MIL. She is a truly fantastic lady and I’m happy to have her in our lives. My fiancé and I are getting married and we wanted a small wedding. Under 100 people is what we had in mind when we picked our venue. My MIL invited over 70 additional people to our wedding without consulting either of us. We honestly do not 5% of the people she has invited. We are completely 100% footing the bill on our way wedding. So I guess my question is what that okay/normal for her to do? I personally am a little miffed because she knew we wanted a small intimate wedding and now it’s almost double what we had planned originally. Am I being a bridezilla for being upset? I want honest opinions; so please tell me if I am! We also just bought our first house so we have A LOT going on atm so idk if she was trying to not stress us out it just felt odd to me. What do you guys think?

Answer

I’d tell your mil that she’s responsible for paying for the people she invited without permission

Answer

girl especially if you’re paying for it, she’s over stepping. I get that she’s excited but she also has to respect what you two want. find a way to talk to her about it, good luck and I hope it goes well!

Answer

I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla whatsoever. I was one LOL. I told our parents who we were inviting, asked if they had any people they’d like to add to the “B list” basically & that was that. I would be super upset/mad if my MIL did that. That’s ALOT of extra people.

Answer

I would tell her she needs to uninvited them... it’s not her day and idc if her mother in law did the same to her.. that’s not a “right of passage”. It’s overstepping and trust me if you let her get away with it she will do this more and more and MORE during your marriage... so you may have an amazing mil now but if it continues you’ll wish she would rot in hell from how much she pushes you aside in YOUR marriage. I also wouldn’t ask her to pay the difference if she invites them because she can use the excuse that she’s paying for “it” so she gets a say in your wedding, the food, the decor, the ceremony, EVERYTHING. Which again by not standing your ground originally, your now on your second, third, fourth, etc of her overstepping and your not even married yet. Moral of all this is tell her no and to uninvite them, there is a reason they didn’t get an invite from YOU and YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER... who cares if a bunch of random people you don’t know are upset??

Answer

You’re not over reacting and she was 100% wrong, unless your fiancé gave her some type of permission to invite some friends.  She needs to be talked to sit down with her and explain it’s not what you want nor do you even know these people.  At the end of the day it’s not even about the money.  She’s rude for even doing that to begin with, now she should pay if they can’t be uninvited.  However if you sent our your invitations how did these extra people get ahold of them?

Answer

Just uninvite them, or cancel it and elope.

Answer

At the end of the day, you're paying for the wedding. Unless she gives you money towards the wedding, I would ask your fiancé to talk to her and tell her such. That it is just not financially feasible for you two at the moment and unless she wants to contribute, HER guest list needs to go. This isn't the first time I've heard of a situation like this, but you are absolutely entitled to be upset. It is your money and your wedding day (and future husbands too).

Answer

No matter what it’s your wedding. If you’re mil wants more people than she needs to pay for them. 
And plus you have every right to be upset it’s your wedding.

Answer

I would talk to my fiancé to talk to her. Like it’s ok to have more people but since you can’t afford-maybe she wants to help and pay? Who knows...

Mother in law overstepping?

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