okay so im 13 and lately i've been struggling with school work which is odd because it's happened before but its never been like this. i have 3 assignments that were handed out 2 weeks ago and i haven't even started them.

one of the assignments is a creative writing piece and im really dreading it but i really love writing.

i feel weird and sluggish and everything is weird and fuzzy and i feel left out even though all of my friends have made plans with me in the past week or so.

i've had 3 anxiety attacks in the past few days but i haven't told my mom about it because it still feels like i can't really trust her.

we recently drove through a neighbourhood that i spent 3 really bad years of my life in. it doesn't have anything to do with sexual assault/abuse or anything but my mom was a narcotics abuser and this neighbourhood is where she went when she wanted to get high. she left my brother and i at her friends house for hours with their kids while they went to get high and they wouldn't come back all night. i was really underweight and i just wasn't taken care of.

anyways, the second we got back home from this neighbourhood, i had a meltdown and ever since i've felt weighed down and weird and it really sucks. my mom and my grandma keep trying to get me to see a therapist or something about it but i know i need to but i don't want to because kids at my school are evil and they alienate kids with emotional/mental disorders.

i just don't want to be treated differently.