*long post and possible therapy session ahead*

I know I’m only 15 and shouldn’t worry about things like this, but I think about this almost obsessively. I’ve always been very self-conscious about not only my appearance but my personality as well. I’ve always been shy and at times I feel as though I can be painfully awkward around boys. On top of that I started gaining weight in 3rd grade and kept gaining until it was like 20 pounds of weight gain each year. I found out last year I had hypothyroidism which can contribute to weight gain, so after getting on medication I decided to lose weight and better myself. So far I’ve lost 20 pounds which I feel has definitely helped my confidence, but I still can’t help but worry that I’ll never have a boyfriend or fall in love. I’ve tried to explain how I felt to my mom about this a couple of years ago, and she just told me not to worry that there are guys out there who like bigger girls, and that anyone would be lucky to date me, etc but I still feel like she doesn’t really understand how much this worries me. I guess it’s just hard to have hope when all of your friends and everyone at school is starting to date and get asked out to dances and stuff like that. Not to throw myself a pity party, but it really takes a toll on me when I see that around me when I’ve never had a boy call me beautiful or want to be my friend and get to know me better. It got out at the lunch table one day in elementary school that I liked a boy in my class and he pretty much friend-zoned me in front of everyone. Then my crush in 6th grade called me fat to my face... so I haven’t had much luck when it comes to boys so far 😂. I don’t know this post is much longer than I intended it to be, but I was just wondering if other people felt this way or had similar experiences.