Military Life Vent

My husband is Active Duty Army, I'm 32 weeks pregnant and his unit was deployed to Korea in February but he stayed back on Rear D due to PTSD and his physiatrist advising that he should not join them and instead stay back for treatment.

Today his command has told him that he either needs to go to Korea, or to get out of the Army. This took him by surprise given that he does an incredible job and has impressed his command over and over again in the past. He even recently received his P Status (meaning he is promotable)

He came to me, clearly stressed out and fearful. When he got sent away last time we went through a very very difficult time and we nearly divorced but that is an old story and we have been doing incredibly well.

He says he doesnt want me to resent him for any choice he makes, which I would never do. I know what I got into when I married a soldier, i would never resent him for doing his job or protecting his career.

If he gets out he is going to push for a medical discharge due to injuries he has on file that happened while he has been serving.

If he goes to Korea he will only be gone for 6-7 months, but he is afraid to miss our child's milestones, not to mention my father in law scared him with a story (his father also served in the military) of when he came back from deployment and my husband was about 3 years old and didnt recognize him and screamed bloody murder when his father picked him up.

Hes going to talk to his physiatrist next week to figure out more options. It's a stressful day today and I wish I could relax but I am worried, i know we will be okay either way but this is just a vent post.

I dont care what anyone says, military life isn't easy. It doesnt pay worth a damn for what these soldiers go through and it isn't for the weak willed. Military families are strong, we have to be, if we weren't I'm pretty sure the entire world would fall apart lol.

🤘💚 Army Strong 💚🤘

348 views • 11 upvotes • 5 comments

COMMENT (5)

Cr

Posted at
They can’t kick him out of the military due to not deploying. They can request a medical review and if he is on a profile or has a non deplorable states this is grounds for a mess board which again still doesn’t mean he’ll be getting out. As for the deployment thing. I was stationed in Korea it’s really not that bad. I was also stationed in Afghanistan again bad but not terrible. There’s MWR tents with WiFi and phones for communication and depending where he’s at, he’ll probably have access to WiFi all the time which means video chatting and that fun stuff. My actual advise, speak to his counselor and see what he suggest but someone mentioned JAG which is an option to file a complaint against his command about threatening him when he’s been advised to stay behind. You shouldn’t be stressing yourself because you and the baby don’t need that. Take a breath and stand by him which ever decision but he does have plenty of options.

Cr

Crystal • Apr 21, 2019
Non deployable status its grounds for a med board* sorry for all my errors.

Ti

Posted at
I’m so sorry you and your husband are going through that! I hope that everything works out, and you’re right military life is not for the faint of heart.

Lo

Posted at
Has your husband talked to JAG? If I remember correctly, from all those PowerPoint and briefings I went to like 5 years ago, coming forward about your mental health shouldnt hurt your career. My husband missed a Afghanistan deployment 5years ago from what sounds like the same situation, although his leadership didn't like it by the time they got back everyone switched out and he didnt have to deal with to many of them. He has always felt guilty for not going but he knows it was the right decision. I can't be sure though with it being Korea.. how it all works tho.

Ra

Posted at
Honestly, deployments now versus years ago are WAY different. Don’t let that scare him. My oldest is 6, she has done 4 deployments. First she was 9mo when he left and 16mo when he came home. She was a smidge hesitant for all of 32 seconds... then it like he never left. FaceTime makes it so they never forget their face or voice. I’ve honestly never seen a kid of any age anything but ecstatic to see their mom/dad coming home. My daughter was very hesitant of new people and strangers but with her Dad she never missed a beat. My husband was so scared he would miss “bonding time” because she was so young but they are best buddies!