Getting this off my chest

I really need to rant because I'm having a really rough year.

So, I've been with the same guy since I was 14. I had heard that he was the type to do drugs and smoke. I am very much against smoking or vaping as it messes up your lungs. I also get excruciating headaches from smelling vape or cigarette smoke. But I told him from the get-go that if he was going to smoke or do drugs I didn't want to be with him. We started dating after he promised me that he wouldn't smoke or do drugs. This was October of 2013. We were fine up until my birthday in April when I didn't even receive a call from him all day. I got worried and called him until he picked up. He was obviously high with his friends. I freaked out and broke up with him.

He came to my house and apologized saying that he was only there at the party to watch over his high friends. I believed him and we got back together. Things were great until he called me from the hospital. He thought that he was dying because of how high he was he had an anxiety attack that caused him to call himself an ambulance. I threatened to leave him again and shortly after I forgave him saying that if he ever did it again I'd leave him.

Things were great. We went a couple of years without any drugs going around or smoking. Then he comes over smelling like cigarettes. His mouth tasted like them and I freaked out. He started crying saying that he just wanted to try them out. I couldn't believe it. Somehow I forgave him again.

I was in the military so I went away to basic for two months. In those two months he only wrote to me once. I was heart broken. I had written him so many letters. All I got was one. We lived together when I got back for almost a year and then got married. We lived in a house with a garage right above the master bedroom and I could hear that he was up there when he came home from work so I thought I'd surprise him and go scare him. He was vaping in our garage and tried to blow the smoke away when I saw him. I quickly ran up to him and grabbed the vape out of his hands. I told him I wasn't going to be lied to anymore. I went back downstairs and started packing up to leave him for real this time. He grabbed at my ankles begging me not to leave. I, being an idiot, forgave him.

We got married. A week after I found out I was pregnant. I felt trapped but I wanted to make family life work. I was about 6 months pregnant when I caught him vaping in his car. I was stuck with him. I felt this sinking feeling. I didn't want to divorce him when we just got married. I threw the vape in the trash and locked him out of our room so I could spend the night without him.

We had to move back to my home town to take care of a family emergency. I was 9 months pregnant. I was unpacking everything while he was in the basement playing video games. I went downstairs to ask him a question to find him smoking on his chair playing video games. I broke down. I couldn't believe what was happening. I went back upstairs and locked the door. I had no choice but to stay with him. I was having his baby in less than a month. I didn't talk to him for 3 days after. I focused on getting my son to be born. I told myself he would change for our son.

Our son is born. I'm upstairs and he makes an excuse to go downstairs and I stay upstairs to feed our newborn. I was getting hungry so I went downstairs with our newborn to see if he would come have dinner. He was vaping. He raced after me and begged for forgiveness. This was 4 months ago. I don't know what to do. I have no money to leave him and I'm so unhappy.