For so many years, I have always kept it to myself ! It has been hard because no one would believe me . I have been called a “fast ass” and a “ gold digger” by my parents ! I have tried for so many years to tell my mom ( because I live with her instead of my dad ) she would curse me out and send me to bed . I learned to just keep my mouth shut at that point .

Recently , it all finally came to light. It was my godmothers birthday and I had to go see her . I hadn’t seen her in literal years ! Her niece and I planned it all , we spent days trying to figure out how to surprise her . Anyways , I got to the party and we reminisced in old times , up until I saw her step father . The man that had molested me for years . The man who told me that he was “ coming to get me “ every time I spent the night at their house . Scaring me to the point I begged to sleep on the top bunk so he wouldn’t touch me . ( I was scared of the top bunk because of weight issues ) The man who told me that it was always our little secret and not to tell anyone . I never told my godmother because I didn’t want to ruin her family . I finally told my mom after being silenced for 14 years .

14 Years later , as the grown woman I am , telling my mother that he hurt me . Telling her how much it ate at me when he kept following me at my godmothers party , or his hug that made me uncomfortable and I was too scared to speak up . I wanted to cry and be angry all at once . I was 7.

15 years later , of another incident where a teen at my daycare/after school program molested me during nap time . She asked me , “How would you know someone touched you there ( private area ) if you were sleep ?” I was 6

6 years later , after being raped at a playground by someone I had taken a liking to . He was 19 at the time . I came home and showered and she made a comment that i was “out being grown” . Meanwhile, I was on the phone with my best friend crying all night about it ! A month later , I discovered I was pregnant . I got scared and ended up losing my child ! I was 15 .

Please ... be careful who you let watch your children ... Please ... listen when they’re trying to tell you something.

Please ... take them seriously sometimes and tell them it is okay to tell you everything .

For years , I let what those men did to me eat at me. I thought I was only meant for the mans sexual desire ! I’m sorry for such a long rant , but I needed to get this off of my chest ! 💕 Thank you for reading !