I'm having a long string of days where I just feel like everything I do is wrong. It's all small stuff, as my husband loves to point out, but it feels huge and defeats me so easily. My daughter is a month today and I just feel like I don't know anything. I don't want to be so upset by stupid things, like her spitting up on her swaddle right after I put it on--likely because I put it on too quickly after she finished eating. Or trying to follow the doula's instructions and put her down to nap instead of on top of me only for her to wake up 20 seconds later. I know this will all get better with time, but right now I just feel like an idiot, both for not knowing what my daughter wants and for being so sad and frustrated all the time.

I am meeting with my postpartum doula tomorrow to try to work through all this anxiety. But right now all I want to do is cry.