So to preface no I wouldn't ever do anything silly.

I just want to know if anyone else experi nces this? So I'm In a loving relationship, I have a beautiful 8 year old and I love them both to bits (hence I wouldn't ever do anything silly). On the out side I am happy, go lucky, funny and I have some great friends and a loving family. But most of my life on the inside I am a deeply unhappy person. I see my doctor frequently, I go to councilling, i take medication (finally on a great one that helps me function day to day). To be honest I'm 28 years old and I have felt this way since I was 15. I have a very normal life, a great job, I love and nourish my son, partner and my family. I work out every day, I make sure I take time out when I need it and I work really hard at my job. So from the outside i look like i have my shit completely together. But for as long as i can remember i have been a deeply sad and unhappy person on the inside. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you deal with it? Is it possible to live my entire life this way? For the most part I push it down and fake it till I make it, dont get me wrong I have happy moments and I laugh and joke alot. But its like having a dark little seed inside me. I have an appointment with my doctor this week how is great and I'm very open with but I think this time I will tell her really truly how unhappy I am. Please tell me I am not alone?

*edit to add, I have not experienced huge trauma, I grew up in a very nuclear family, mum dad me and my brother. Biggest traumas have been my dads accident three years ago where he lost his leg and being raped at 17. But this feeling predates those and they have been acknowledged and talked about in councilling*

*edit #2, thankyou for your responses, I have diagnosed depression and am on medication, my lovely doctor found one that works very well at lifting the weight off. However I find no matter what meds I try (a fair few) nothing takes away the deep feeling of unhappiness*