It’s been several years, but I still feel really uncomfortable about it, but I went through a period of time, about a month and a half where I was molested/assaulted/taken advantage of by 4 different men.

First, I had a fight with my roommate (passive aggressive, she was annoyed at my coming home late, so she locked me out of our room), so I called one of the guys I was hanging out with, who was pretty new to our social circle, but we were just hanging out together with another friend, so I knew he was up. He invited me to his apartment, there had never been anything between us and I just needed out, but when I got there, he convinced me to lay in his bed and in the middle of our conversation, he grabs my breasts and pinned me down. He wouldn’t let me up, and made it under my bra by the time I got out, I didn’t report it, and he texted me the next day for a ride like nothing happened.

A couple weeks later, I was at a bar, when my friend’s bf introduced me to a guy, who later bought me a shot. I had only had half a beer prior to that, so I knew I wasn’t drunk, I am not a heavy drinker, but I am a plus size woman and don’t get drunk that easily. I was 20 at the time, the place was packed so I just stayed away from the bar, so I never saw it happen, but all of a sudden I was far more compliant than usual. He asked me to go to his car so he could grab a smoke, I just went with him, then he told me to get in the car and I don’t know why, but I did. Then we ended up at his place, just a mile or two from the bar and even now, the rest of the night was in clashes, I remember being in his bed naked, just a shirt on in the bathroom while he watched me. Then I started to wake up a bit and tried to leave and he said he couldn’t drive me, he was drunk (before Uber was really popular), and when I said I would walk, he threatened me. He told me he was a wrestler, I don’t want to make him angry. I finally got out and walked back to the bar at 4am, got in my car and somehow made it to my ex’s house, I had nowhere to stay at the time, I had given up my apartment and was picking up my parents from the airport so we could all drive back, I was out of town on an extended internship. I got there and he and his roommates were concerned because all I could say was “I don’t know”, but when we were alone, he asked me if I had sex with the guy he saw me with earlier (he showed up at some point), and still, all I could say was “I don’t know”. He then stripped down and I don’t tell him no, but I think I was still out of it, or I was in shock, but he had sex with me.

A couple months later, I decided to go back to where I had been living, ended up taking a 20 hour bus ride to get there, that turned into 48 hours due to inclement weather, with little food and no sleep. I finally arrived at the house where I was renting a room, and met my new housemates, one of whom I didn’t know, and kept flirting with me before it got really uncomfortable. I felt stuck, I didn’t want to be rude, we were talking, but I just wanted a shower and sleep. Because of my condition, I stupidly accepted a drink (alcohol), trying to be polite, but it hit me hard, further lowering my inhibitions. I finally got to my room and he cracked my door open after a few minutes, to try to catch me changing. I am not proud of this, but I later willingly slept with him. Because he then told my ex I was easy, I was violated by another one of his friends who thought I would just have sex with him. He cornered me in my room at the next place I lived, he was also the landlord’s brother. I knew him for over six months, he asked me to have sex with him and begged/tried to convince me, I brought up his girlfriend, he said she’s a b****, and he was tired of her. He grabbed my breasts, then held me in place while he rubbed his exposed penis on me until he got tired of trying. He then took a step back, finished himself off, and said “Okay, but next time...” and left.

Please, don’t be polite, for fear of offending someone who clearly doesn’t have your interest in mind. Screw all of them, the people that mistake kindness for weakness.