We were best friends for 10 years. I had gotten out of my first serious and toxic relationship and I was really confused and immature because I didn’t get a chance to think on my own for years. You also had broken up with your ex and jumped into a relationship with a much older man. He would sometimes act as a modeling agent to make extra cash. You started to do it and told me it was a good idea. He got me drunk while reading me the contract and in it said I could be doing porn and nude photography but assured me I didn’t have to. Then later told me that if I didn’t comply he would have to sue me for a lot of money which I did not have. I was so scared and didn’t know what to do. He is an ex marine and carries his weapon on him always and I honestly felt threatened. He kept telling drunk, susceptible me that if I loved you then I would do this cause he needed the extra cash to buy you guys a house which you kept telling me you wanted to do. So I allowed him to have sex with me while I was crying and telling him I didn’t want to. I didn’t know how to tell you and I was scared that he would be able to take legal action if I didn’t comply. So this continued for a couple months and the whole time I was trying to convince you to leave him. He had taken videos of me and posted them online without my knowledge. He began to “fall in love with me” and he became obsessive. Then started to threaten to tell you about everything as if I wanted this. But I had already kept it hidden so I was scared of you finding out. I just wanted you away from him even if it meant I got left behind. He was trying to destroy my life while simultaneously telling me that he was not, he just wanted to be with me but also couldn’t be open about it because he wanted to marry you. After a while I decided I would play into his “love” game in the hopes that if he truly felt he loved me, he would let me out of the contract so I could find happiness. You and I were trying to move states so I did everything I could to make that possible. After lots of “guilt tripping” I convinced him to let me move under the condition that we were still dating and I had to let him have anal sex with me. The entire time it was extremely painful and I cried and begged him to stop and slow down but he did not. He continued until he finished and I was bleeding. After we moved I started to attempt to slowly drift away from him hoping to not have him blow up but he did and then sent you explicit photos of him and I together and acting as if we were in love when he took them, not him forcing me to pose for online. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to handle the situation and I know I handled it wrong. I know I lied and there’s no excuse. You forgave me and we lived together for 7 months. But after what happened, I didn’t know how to act and at times found myself resenting you for bringing this man into my life and talking me into working with him. I feel awful for feeling this way. I have moved and we’re no longer friends because I started putting random flings over you because I was attempting to burry my memories and guilt with alcohol and sex. I’m sorry I did this to us, I never meant to hurt you. I love you so much.

Goodbye my friend.