why am I like this??😭

I just found out my ex is now with another girl. He abused me, mentally and in every other way and I hate him and the air around him. He’s blocked on all of my social accounts because he stalked me as well.

But when I saw the picture of him with her I broke. I am still bawling and I don’t know why because I wish he would just go die in a damn ditch yet I’m sitting here crying about him being with another girl. I don’t know why and I really don’t understand my feelings right now. I guess he’s a trigger for me but I didn’t think that was possible.

I just need some help and some insight on why I’m feeling this way.