I think my marriage is coming to an end
Not much else to really say other than it feels as though we are going through the motions on a steady course to separate and divorce. Neither of us have cheated or hurt each other we’ve just been growing into different people and different directions. We are young and everything has happened so much faster than I ever imagined. We’ve been together almost 3 years, engaged at 3 months, married at a year. We welcomed our son into the world a few months after being married so we never really enjoyed our time adjusting to marriage and living together. Right before our son turned one I found out my birth control had failed and I was pregnant again.
We just have different priorities and talking to him gets no where. I am thankful that he supports us and has me stay at home with our son (childcare costs too much). But he doesn’t clean up, barely showers or brushes his teeth, won’t spend time with our son. He works and then plays xbox until he falls asleep on the couch and I wake him up to get in bed. I don’t care about the mess as much. I’m used to his clothes everywhere and dishes wherever he leaves them so I’m used to picking them up all day/night. But the showering thing has been a war between us for years now. When we were dating/engaged I couldn’t tell or maybe he showered more. But he just hates it. I’ve asked for couples therapy or therapy individually but he thinks it’s a bullshit and that every grown man goes days on days without showering.
We don’t talk anymore. We don’t kiss or hug much. We’ve had sex maybe 10 times in the past six months and somehow I got pregnant anyway. I’m sad that no matter how much I try to connect with him he’s just so distant. I feel like so much happened so fast because it’s what he kept pressuring and begging for, that now we’ve ran our course.
I’ve been trying so hard to make it work but how do you survive in a marriage where you don’t even talk to, touch, or spend time with your spouse. I don’t even know what he does on his days off because he just leaves and comes back to play Xbox.
I’m so heartbroken that I can’t get my best friend back.
Edit about the showering: no he is not depressed I’ve asked him and even his mom said that he has never showered more than twice a week. I have been trying to talk to him about it as nicely as possible, offering to shower together, trying very hard to understand but he just hates it and finds it unnecessary time spent when your body doesn’t need it.