Hey, I’m 14 and suffer with depression and anxiety and just wanted to rant to get some stuff off my chest :)

I was on meds but all I could think about was swallowing handfuls and ending my life so I flushed them down the toilet ( I know I know) and lately everybody including counsellors therapists and youth workers have given up on me to the fact they don’t talk to me anymore like we used to..I’m getting really bad thoughts and am struggling a lot but I’m getting better at hiding my loneliness,, and I’m really fuc*ing scared guys and I just feel so alone rn and I want things to get better but they aren’t and I have no friends and I just am so lost

Im sorry I just needed to distract myself :(

Ily all thanks for listening