Hello. I wanted to share a comment (a really long one) that i think is so important. there’s so many young girls on this page that may be able to relate. When i was in high school one of my classmates shot himself in the head right after thanksgiving. another committed suicide from carbon monoxide poisoning. The one that hurt the most for me happened to be a close friend. He jumped off the parking garage at his school months before he graduated college. that day i remember laying in the middle of my floor staring at my wall scream crying. i have never felt hurt like that. EVER. i wouldn’t eat. wouldn’t sleep. i cant even explain how i felt. its now over a year and every time i think of him i still cry. we always talked about emotions/how we felt and i never once thought he was depressed. i always thought we’d be friends forever. he always told me how happy he was for his future and he wonders who he’d marry/what career he’d have. it is always the people you don’t suspect. always reach out to your friends/family and make sure they are doing okay mentally. you just never know. i wish i could have stopped and helped him. i just hope he knows i cherish our time we had together and will always try and make a difference.

Growing up i was severely bullied and was self harming. Countless times i wrote out a suicide note and planned on committing suicide. once i was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. i was severely depressed, couldn’t get any lower than that. i thought my life would always be dull and full of sadness. i had no friends, and couldn’t even eat lunch in the cafeteria. my parents didn’t believe i was depressed because “i had nothing to be depressed about”. during this time i was also struggling with bulimia. i was a gymnast and getting influenced from my coaches and parents to look a certain way. One day in the warm months i went to the nurse wearing a long sleeved shirt saying i didn’t feel well and needed to skip gym. the school nurse lifted my sleeves so fast and randomly exposing my fresh cuts. she sat me down and talked to me. i didn’t know at the time but she saved my life. i began going to therapy which honestly didn’t help. my parents never sent me to a different therapist when i asked. they said i was cured. everyday i forced myself to pick out three positive things. constantly reminded myself that life DOES improve. it may have taken me years but i am so thankful to be mentally where i am today. of course i have my bad days of course like any normal person. i am a 19 year old young woman. currently going to school to become a nurse. i cant help but wonder what would happen if she didn’t save me. I often thought if i died would anyone even miss me? the short answer is yes.

Where i’m getting at is life gets better. it may not seem like it right now but it does. it may not be today, or next week. or next year. IT GETS BETTER EVENTUALLY. i have been seeing person after person committing suicide and i can not take it. every person just rips my heart out a little more. no one deserves to feel so much pain they feel they need to end their life. i am here, a suicide attempt survivor, saying life isn’t always terrible. i am here for a reason. i am strong. i often feel unloved to this day but i know if i did successfully commit suicide, it would affect so many people. every suicide i hear of affects me even if i don’t know the person. an 18 year old girl a few towns over from me just killed herself yesterday. when someone commits suicide you transfer your pain to the people around you. you may think no one will care but trust me, at least one person will. let me tell you it’s the worst feeling. pain is temporary. you can move forward. you can do anything you put your mind to. work everyday towards living a more positive life!!! always remember you are not weak for needing help. it’s normal. more people go to therapy than you may think. if you’re looking for a sign to not commit suicide this is it. i beg you please reach out if you need help to the hotline, friend, family, stranger. anyone. SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER AND WILL NEVER BE THE ANSWER. also feel free to share your story!!!

RIP RO. I will love and miss you forever.

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