So I’m in my 3rd trimester and one of my friends is taking a Doula class and needs to witness 3 live births before she is able to get certified. She asked me if I could be one of her 3. I told her of course because I wanted one but couldn’t find any in my city. So today my mom asked me if there’s any surprises she should be ready for in the birth room. (she never asked if she could be in there. She said she was going to be in there because she refuses to miss the birth of her grandson. Her 3rd grandchild by the way. Was there for the first 2 with my sister.) I told her that K was my doula and the first thing she immediately popped off with was “So K is gonna be the one who kicks me out of the room?!?” And just went off from there. Yelling about how I’ve seen birth and I know how it is, and why would I want K in there when she doesn’t vaccinate or circumcise her own children so why would she care about mine. Wouldn’t actually let me explain what a doula is or why I even wanted one. My husband left the room. He’s autistic and doesn’t like yelling to begin with (I’ve explained this multiple times.) I get stressed out because shes yelling and wouldn’t let me explain myself. I get up and say that she’s stressing me out with her yelling and I don’t need this in the last trimester I have, she pops off with “What you have his A.D.D now???” I end up leaving her house. She then leaves me this voicemail sayin that I have lost all my common sense and how no one has my well being in mind, that she’s the only one who cares about my beat interest.

I guess where am getting at here is am I wrong for wanting a doula? Am I wrong for not actually wanting my mom in my delivery room and feeling like I have to birth in secret?