I was just reminded of this and need to vent.

At 14 I told this boy, who had back problems and needed surgery, how I was molested by my half brothers uncle and aunt. He was the first person I actually told out right and in detail.

Later my mom looked through my phone thinking I was talking to a “boyfriend”. She discovered our conversation and sat me down later that night.

I told her all if it was true and who it was that did that to me. When I was 5 or younger my brothers uncle would tell me a dollar would come out if I looked at it while I squeezed my hands around it and moved up and down. He told me he would give me another dollar if I looked at it. Because I would squeeze my eyes shut and turn away while I did it.

When I was about 7 or 8 my brothers aunt would say I could spend the night in her room to have girl time. She would tell me to go lick her vagina up and down. She even shaved another day so I could do it better next time. It always tasted like piss. One time she even put pillows all around the coffee table while we were under it and started to make my hands touch her while she touched me. THERE WERE PEOPLE LITERALLY SITTING ON THE COUCH ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PILLOWS. I remember I asked her “can’t God see us? Is this bad?” And she told me that God couldn’t see us under the coffee table.

Back to my mom

She didn’t know how to react. I’m sure she thought I made it up to get attention. When I told her it was true .. she kinda choked.

All she said was “they went through a lot also and it’s probably not their fault”

So for years.. and even sometimes to this day. I always think back and wonder why and what could I have done differently. What did I do wrong?

I know my mom didn’t mean it like that... maybe. BUT to this day she doesn’t remember. Or chooses not to. Because just a few months ago she was talking to my brothers and told them that their uncle (the one that molested me) was her favorite brother on that side of their dads family. I was sitting right there next to her and she was talking to me also.

Sorry for the long post. Thank you for reading if u did.