I feel like people need to hear it and could benefit from my story. It’ll be long, so if you aren’t in the mood to read, skip along ❤️ trigger warning: self harm, domestic violence, abuse, drug use, rape.

This boyfriend I met when I was 16, turning 17. I’ll leave his name out for confidentiality , but let’s call him S. He was good at first. He knew my past, my family troubles, the molestation, the abuse. He offered to take me from that by allowing me to live with him and his family, but that was a huge mistake. After I moved from my adopted families house , I cut contact. I also cut contact with my dads side because of what happened and not wanting to explain that to my family. I never knew my moms side because they moved away after she died. I didn’t find them until I was 21 or 22. So , I was isolated. It was then that the abuse started. S was an amateur boxer with aspirations to go professional. He was trained in boxing, mma , Jiu jitzu, and other martial arts. For context, his family is very close knit. They move as a unit, which isn’t bad, but when you’re on the outside of that it can be dangerous. They accepted me and things were okay for a while. Until the abuse started. Since he was trained in martial arts he knew where to hit without leaving marks. At first. But then it escalated to black eyes, chipped teeth. I wore sweaters in the summer. Nobody questioned it. Come to find out his dad was an abuser, and his dad before him. But see his dad is a powerful engineer at a large company (I won’t say for privacy reasons, but almost EVERYONE who has a cell phone uses their software and products). His dad makes good money, and his mom is an immigrant who never had to work, so she ignored the abuse because it meant going back to her own abusive family. The abuse started when I’d talk back to him, I’m an Aries and a hot head and I’d learned to defend myself because I had to as a kid. He’d abuse me until I stopped being able to talk. He would punch me, kick me, choke me until I lost consciousness. He chipped 2 of my teeth, I have nerve damage in one eye from a severe black eye. He’d twist my arms and fingers until I would cooperate. That started at the time the sexual abuse started. He’d rape me. I didn’t know at the time rape can exist in a relationship, and I thought nobody would take me seriously. He would choke me until I passed out and do things to me, he would manipulate me and force me to watch him jerk off to porn. He’d film me. He’d punch me repeatedly until I sucked his dick. He’d hold me down and force himself inside of me. He’d enjoy himself while I lay there crying, waiting for it to be over, and wishing I was dead. He would flirt with friends of his who were girls, telling me it was my fault because I didn’t have sex with him enough. When in reality he took it whenever he wanted. He downloaded tinder, Kik, secret messengers, Snapchat (after he said snap was sketchy and made me delete mine after he locked me out of my account). He used to make me go with him to bars and places so he could cat call women in front of me with his friend. He would have his friend explain in detail how to use backpage (before it got shut down), to make sure I knew that he knew how to get a prostitute. He threatened to cheat on me if I didn’t have sexy with him. I started self harming and attempted suicide more times than I can count. He locked me out of al my social media, Changing my passwords and reset emails to his. He isolated me from the world , even the internet. He convinced me nobody loved me or cared about me, he’d tell me how my family didn’t give a shit. He’d remind me that I had nowhere to go. He threatened to kill me and my animals. He’d stalk me when I wasn’t with him. Following me to nail salons, work, etc. he demanded to know my whereabouts and would track me and find me if I didn’t answer a text fast enough. He would call my friends or family to verify my location, but he would say he’s checking in with them to make it look innocent. He would take my phone and go through it when I was sleeping, and if he found anything that was “suspicious” he woke me up by punching me in the face and slapping me to interrogate me. There weren’t suspicious things in my phone, but if his friend or family member liked a picture or post on Instagram or Facebook he’d beat me and accuse me of wanting them. He beat me because I dropped some clothes while bringing our laundry upstairs and one item was a pair of panties. He hit me and accused me of trying to seduce his brother because I dropped underwear on the floor. Alone with other clothes btw. He kicked me in the ribs while I lay in the fetal position on the floor one night because he said my face made his dad uncomfortable when they were having a conversation. I had just woken up, I was just sitting with them because he asked me to, and I wasn’t even talking to anyone. But my face was enough to trigger him I guess. One night I was making a phone call to my best friend inside of my car before I walked in the house about our plans the next day, he assumed I was talking to a guy and kicked the door in to my car and punched the roof , leaving knuckle prints. He got his dad to pop the dent out and said it was fine. There’s more, but I can’t and don’t even want to remember.

I decided to leave the night after he beat me because I went to Applebee’s with my best friend and I wore shorts. We posted a selfie on Instagram and he didn’t like that I wore shorts. He accused me of cheating on him, going clubbing (I’ve never been to a club), etc. plot twist, he didn’t know that that day I found out the night prior when I was passed out on my best friends couch asleep he made a pass at her texting her “I’m so hard for you”. Little did he know she is loyal to a fault and would never do that to me, told me as soon as she knew it was safe (she knew about the abuse), and helped me make an escape plan. Our Applebee’s date was to plan my escape from him and his family. he came home pissed and threatened to kill me and my animals, but this was normal it happened all the time. He didn’t take me seriously when I said I was leaving.

The next day I went to work, took my animal to the vet, and waited for my window of opportunity . He worked nights, 4pm-4am. So I waited for him to be gone, his family went out together , and I went home and packed . I grabbed as much as I could and my best friend loaded my animals in her car. And we drove. The night before I contacted my adopted sister that I hadn’t talked to in years asking her if I could stay with her for a while. She of course let me. So out I went .

But I wasn’t free yet. When he realized I left he called and texted me relentlessly. I’m talking about 50+ calls in an hour, I didn’t even count the texts. He did the same to every person that associated with me that he thought knew where I was. He made a fake Instagram account to harass me because he was blocked on all social media. He stalked me at my job. He found out where I was by following me home from school. He then messaged me to let me know he knew where I was .

I tried to cover my tracks. I arranged varying shifts at work. For BOTH jobs I worked, so I wouldn’t have a set schedule or pattern. Keep in mind where u moved was an hour from both jobs, so doing that was exhausting. The only thing that didn’t change was my class schedule because I was half way through the semester, so he used that to find me. Him, his mom, and his brother followed me home. I found this out because they invited my aunt to their Halloween party to brag about how stupid I was to not think they’d find me. He also tried to sleep with this aunt. *gross*

It was then that I felt truly truly unsafe and I filed for an order of protection, it was temporarily granted in October of 2017, and court was set for December of 2017.

*continued in comments*