I don’t understand..

A lot of things in my life are going wrong.. my abusive ex stepdad can come into my house at time, I’ve had a lot of people trying to injure themself around me, My mental state isn’t healthy, I’ve been having a crap ton of panic attacks, and i’m having a total mental breakdown right now.

Just everything’s going wrong and I don’t cry often and i’m just completely breaking down at my friends house, I don’t know what to do and i can’t do it anymore..