So backstory: My father physically and emotionally abused me growing up and when I turned 18 I cut him off and didn't speak to him for 3 years. My cousins on his side who saw him daily took his side and told me to suck it up he's my father and I only have one so to forgive him as everyone deals with this. 3 years I tried reaching out to them and no one made the effort back - they chose him

Fast forward to today: My father and I have been rebuilding our relationship and I am now engaged. He's all happy and I tried to call his family and tell them all - no one answered. He then tells me they are all excited and talking about it together as a family and yet no one calls me. He also tells me they plan on not showing because it's too far of a drive and they have plans (NO ONE KNOWS THE DATE YET)

So, talking to my dad I told him they are not invited to my wedding. They haven't been apart of my life and I don't want negative people that aren't happy for us there. I told him if he wanted them there he can pay for them to not show up. I was of course crying and upset.

In comes the big speech of how can I do this to HIS family and I better choose my next words carefully and I am crying crocodile tears that it's a family event and they are HIS family and I need to do my part.

IDK I think I'm just frustrated and trying to get some guidance from people who have been through this. I'm just sick of him and his family never being apart of my life but expecting for me to always reach out for them for the milestones so they can pretend to have always been there in front of others.

I just don't think they all (including him) realize after all you put me through none of you need to be included in my life at all and I can just stop completely and live my new life without you. Forgiveness does not mean I need to allow you to step all over me and allow the past to repeat