Honestly I don’t even know what to title this. But all I gotta say is I’m so done with men for a long time.

I was in a 2 and a half year relationship with this guy who emotionally and physically abused me, cheated on me and basically trapped me. I was mentally checked out of the relationship 3 months prior to the break up.. I ended things because I deserve to be happy and be treated properly, and honestly I fell out of love... but while I was still with him I reconnected with this guy I was in love with back in high school (dumb me). I went out with friends and he was there, he drove me home and actually made me laugh and smile, personally I didn’t remember the last time I laughed. From that day on it just got better. He was messaging me telling me how beautiful I was etc.... things I just really wanted to hear but didn’t ask to hear it.

He then helped me build the courage to leave him and move on with life... which I was extremely blessed for that... but what hurts me the most is this guy that helped me escape that relationship really broke my heart... i reconnected with his whole family, met new people, got a career opportunity to do eyelash extensions because his sister saw something in me, I just started to get really close with his mother, I was going out of my way to try new foods because I really wanted to impress his mother (they are Cambodia so their foods are a bit different for a typical meal I am use to). I got to bond with his niece and nephew...

He put a lot time, effort and money into me/us which confused me. He drove me to see my parents that live 5 hours away because he wanted too. Everything was perfect... maybe A little too perfect.

3 months passes and he now is starting to feel confused with his feelings and doesn’t want to be with me. So he ends things with me... it was just so damn easy for him to walk away.

It’s been 2 weeks and I’m still confused... I don’t understand why he was so into me and put sooo much time, effort and money... then dropped me like nothing. He says he tried and didn’t mean for it to happen like this. But my mind thinks about this all the time. I have dreams about him that feel so real I have to check my phone to see if it actually happened. I was extremely vulnerable and I think he saw that.

We ended on good terms and are staying friends but it’s hard when you started to fall in love with them.

I now am protecting my heart and keeping my walls up. Because I really feel like I can’t trust anyone but myself.