Confirmed Miscarriage Venting

Amaryllis

My doctor was a b****. Well, not MY doctor just some random doctor that confirmed it. I heavily bled for 48 hours straight. Had to wait out the weekend for my appointment today. But it had tapered off into light spotting. We'd been trying for so long... I had a little hope left that this was just some wild thing that was gonna be a weird story later on in my pregnancy. She comes in. My hCG level is 6... She says she considers that a negative test. Then she tell me "at least it's all done and over with" and is almost happy for me that we didn't have to do a pelvic exam. I would've been down to do 10 of them if it meant different news. Then she just tells me how to get to the check out desk. Had to cancel my 8 week appointment. That was hard... Came home and sent out a group message to the 4 people I'd told so they wouldn't send me anymore baby stuff. At least I hadn't gotten ahead of myself and made a social media post right away. At least I decided I wanted to wait 3 months. I was so excited. My husband's glad we at least finally know we can get pregnant. He's less sensitive than I am, but he was excited I know he's sad and just won't show it. I'm here for him he's here for me. All everyone I told said was that they love me and that's all I wanted. I told them I didn't wanna talk about it. My best friend lives 2 hours away and offered to come down when her baby's feeling better (the poor princess has broncholitis) that was really sweet of her. I didn't reply though... I don't wanna talk to anyone at all. I've just been stress cleaning my house since now I don't have to "stay in bed while bleeding". This sh*i fu**in sucks. Oh I was 5 weeks when it all happened. Just long enough for me to find out get hella excited look at a million baby things think about names. All the sh** I'd been waiting 2 years for... This fu**in sucks....