My cleaning lady confessed the other day that she caught my husband with another woman in the house.

It was suspicious enough that she felt compelled to share it with me. Based on what she saw...it was just not good.

What do I do? She has been with us for a year with no major issues but lately my husband started complaining about her...I have no real complaints about her.

Unfortunately he has cheated before...

She is afraid for him to find out that she talked to me....but I want to confront him.

How do I best handle this?

***********UPDATE 1*******

So I installed camera's at all entries. We had talked about this before because of neighbourhood burglary so it is not a big surprise to him...although he questioned why I was in a rush all the sudden.

This wknd I asked our mechanic to install camera's in the car both dashcam and driver facing so I can see who enters the car.

I also went completely silence and icy on him and left for a long wknd with friends...so he knows something is up.

My cleaning lady begged me not to pull her in to this. She also cleans for my co-worker..so I really do not see why she would make this stuff up. She said that she felt bad, since she knows I work so hard and how desperate I am for a family. He knows that he was caught and that the cleaning lady disapproves as in her shock she asked him who the women was and if she was a family member. (What happened is that she showed up on her off day because the washing machine had broken down and she wanted to double check if it was working again..she texted me that she would drop by....but since I was on a business trip he did not expect anybody to be in the house)

We are very private people, she is normally very respectful so she is never really into our business.

And I agree that his complaints are a red flag.

However I have to confront him. I am terrified, but I cannot live with all this anxiety. I have decided to confront him after the wknd.

I am also 4 days late on my period...so really heartbroken that these might be my best and worse weeks ever.

****Update 2******

I am no longer responding to individual posts as they are many...and I have a lot on my mind....but a major thank you to all the women who shared kind words, advise and understood where I was coming from.

I am still away from home returning this wknd...so I have some time to strategize. I am still highly emotional and my approach changes every few hours. You cannot rehearse for this.

For all the women with rude comments ridiculing me..accusing me of attention seeking...I truly hope that you never end up in a situation that your whole world falls apart in seconds and you have no idea who to turn to...or what to do.

Adultry happens...and there are many people who work hard to reconcile and give their relationship a second chance. For some it works out...for me it clearly did not..that doesn't mean that I am naive or stupid or asked for this to happen..because I reconciled the first time.

It doesn't mean that I will reconcile this time around.

Kicking someone down who is already going through a turmoil says more about you than me...

I will try to give another update when home next week.

*******UPDATE 3**********

Ladies I don’t know where to start.

That Saturday evening I realised, I could not go back home the next day. I just couldn’t. So I called by brother in tears. He ordered me to go to a family friend and jumped on the next available flight.

When he arrived, everything just went very fast. The first thing he did was call the cleaning lady. She came with her husband and we had her pastor on the phone.

It turned out that she first shared this with her husband when it happened and was not planning to tell me. But after two weeks her husband urged her to tell. In his words "this thing was eating at her heart". He also became concerned for her safety as "some men do dark things to keep these things secret". After consulting their pastor, she finally told me. All I can say it that is was all very emotional. I still appreciate that they went through such length to convince me that her story was credible.

I know that many of you were afraid that I would fire her. But that never crossed my mind. I do not mistreat my staff. Obviously she will stop working for us, but my brother promised that she will be paid until she finds a new family. She shared a lot more details of what she saw with my brother, things she did not want me to hear.

I did not confront my husband. My brother did, the next day. In a very man to man, matter of fact way. They have known each other for 2 decades and were even business partners at one point.

I am not ready to hear all the details, but yes there was a woman in the house and apparently he brought her to the house to show off his cooking skills and some paintings he bought recently. It was the first time, he is sorry and loves me. He wasn’t aware of what the cleaning lady had seen as he did not see her enter the house initially…but even when she encountered them, he had actually hoped it would blow over.

I had a long talk with my brother after the confrontation with my husband. He asked me from the heart what I truly wanted. All I could think of was: I don’t want to loose my sanity, I don’t want to loose everything I worked so hard for, …I never want to set foot in that house again where his mistress roamed freely.

You know, my husband is my best friend, but also my business and project partner. There has to be 1000% trust between us as we are responsible for the incomes of other families. I owe my success to him and I contributed to his. We are not rich, but we can be proud of what we have achieved. I don’t want all of our work to fall apart.

I am still puzzled and heartbroken that someone who brought out the best in me…went backstabbing …betraying me in my own house. I do not think our marriage can survive this …on the other hand.... I cannot even say the word divorce without sobbing.

...but I do not have to decide anything yet…my sis in law keeps saying…just focus on being ok.

We have good family lawyers, financial advisors. I am financially secure without my husband…I can stay in our family friend’s guesthouse for as long as I need….my sis in law will be over next week to help with our business affairs…..she has even offered to represent me in a divorce if need be. So I know I am covered. I am just numb.

So this is where I am at. I did all the medical test…no STD...no pregnancy…but also no AF yet….probably stress...

What I did not expect is how embarrassed and ridiculed I would feel. I am not the one who cheated, but I am too embarrassed to face my friends or the people who work with us. I am not good at pretending.

I did speak to my husband over the phone, but wasnt ready to face him.

I really came to Glow because I had no where else to go in those first two days...and really no clue what to do.... Although there were a few trolls I must say….wow what a Glow family. Some of you could describe precisely how I felt…and I am soo grateful for this….. I will try to respond to you all.

***a small edit as many of you are asking. The last time he cheated was before our marriage. I went through his phone (looking for a recorder code) and found compromising messages. We broke up within 2 weeks and I served him papers to dissolve a venture we had just established. But he fought 2 hard years to win me and my trust back. We eventually got married and have been for 15 years with really no major bumps. So although this brings back bad memories....it is totally unexpected.