I HATE MY POSTPARTUM BELLY RANT

I litterally hate my body. I look at it and am disgusted with what I’ve turned into.

It’s carried two beautiful babies and i should be proud. But I’m just not!

I look at myself and want to cry. Heck. Sometimes I do.

After my first born. It took a whole year to get back to my pre pregnant weight, and even when I finally got there I didn’t look anything like I used to.

My skin was stretched and my boobs were saggy.

Not too long later I fell pregnant with my 2nd a gorgeous little girl who is now 3 weeks old. I gained the same amount of weight and seem to be losing it quicker. But I also gained more stretch marks. ... yes more! Who would have known that even when your body was litterally already stretched to absolute oblivion that you could STILL GET MORE. Ugh.

So now even though I’m losing the weight faster. I’m far more stretched. The skin is a lot more saggy and who knows what my boobs are going to look like after I stop nursing because with my son they already looked like deflated wrinkly balloons.

AND! I got diagnosed with Diastastis Recti with my son which is now 100% worse and I have gained a wonderful hernia that protrudes from where my abs used to be too. (Those who don’t know what that is. It’s a major abdominal seperation. Basically your abs hold everything in which gives you that “toned skinny” appearance.)

so you can imagine what it looks like when your abs aren’t holding everything in where it’s supposed to be.. you look skinny everywhere but have a bulging belly. It’s gross.

I HATE MY POSTPARTUM BELLY. I HATE IT SO MUCH.

I feel so unattractive. I feel so soft and wobbly. It’s disgusting and I wish it would just GO AWAY.

I hate looking at myself in the mirror. It’s the worst feeling ever.

I can’t believe I used to feel like this before I even had kids. I look at photos of me pre pregnancy and think about how much I hated myself then and now I wish so badly that I could just look like that again.

The amount of disgust I feel when I look at myself is ACTUALLY a problem.

Uuuuuggggh. How do I stop feeling like this?!

I litterally have to convince myself to eat because I am nursing & I lost 2 and a half litres of blood in labour so my hemagloben levels are very low. But I like I said.. I have to CONVINCE myself because I know it’s best for my baby.

If I didn’t have to sustain a milk supply for her I probably just wouldn’t even eat.