Last week at 38 weeks my doctor said that my cervix was opening but it wasn’t quite 1cm yet. Today at 39 weeks she said I’m high and completely closed. I am completely devastated. I spent all week walking as much as I physically could. I bounced on a yoga ball. I was as active as possible because she told me all of those things would help dilate me and it had the opposite effect. I’ve been crying almost all evening, trying to not be so upset because I know first time moms almost always go past their due date but I feel like my body is failing me and I’ll end up being induced. So now I’m reading stories about being induced and they almost always end up in terrible labors and c-sections and the ONLY thing I wanted out of this pregnancy was to labor at home as long as possible - I wanted to be comfortable and it seems like that’s not even in the cards anymore. I know in my head all of this is ridiculous and there’s nothing wrong with being induced and I shouldn’t be crying because I’m not dilated, but everyone I know who is due after me is going to have their baby before me (doctors have scheduled their induce dates around 38-39 weeks) and it sucks. I’m so uncomfortable. I can’t sleep. My sides hurt all the time and I’m having a hard time being home alone all the time. I have to pee constantly and can barely walk without having to deal with lightening crotch pains. I just want to not be pregnant anymore, it’s been so rough on me.

Anyway, sorry for the rant I’m just hormonal, depressed, and really disappointed.