I’ve waited 2 years for my partner to be onboard with the baby thing and then various other setbacks (zika and a new job) delayed it and now we are finally in the first month and I feel like I’m begging for sex. I don’t need to be told he doesn’t want a baby, I’ve circled that issue for years with him and he is now ok with it.

This week is my fertile week and we’ve had sex once in the green. Today is my peak (I’ve not got mucus yet so think calendar is off) and yesterday he was too tired. I’m in a state. I’m stressing cos we need to have sex and stressing cos I’m stressing and so I’ve probably fucked up and chances anyway cos I’m in such a tizz. We rowed about it earlier so tonight’s probably not going to happen now as well.

I spoke with him on Sunday, I said there will be a week a month when we need to do it and he seemed ok. I said yes it will be for a reason but I still love him and still enjoying the sex. Anyway it’s the first week and he’s already feeling used and flaking on me. Told me he doesn’t want it to be a task. He’s spent 7 years complaining he doesn’t get any sex!! It’s one week!! I’m not fertile 365 days a year!

I’m prepared to feel sad about the negative texts / period arrivals each month but if it’s because we haven’t even tried I don’t think I’ll cope. I’ll resent him. I’ve been waiting to try for so long (I’m 31 and been with him 9 years) and now month after month will tick by with a battle to have the sex and then arguments about it and then no sex. My fertile times likely to always be in the week and his job stresses him.

I just don’t know how to handle this stress and sadness that’s on my mind 24/7. I can’t sleep coz it’s all I think about it and my heart just thumps so loudly I can’t switch off.

🤷🏻‍♀️ help? How do I chill out and calm down whilst ensuring it happens?

Oh and I wish putting some sexy underwear on etc would help but this is deeper issue than that.