Trying to get used to having a newborn. I wish I could say everything was coming naturally but it’s not. I follow my daughters lead most of the time and we’re both still trying to get the hang of things. I’m so happy to be a mom, but it’s not easy. Every day is amazing, but there’s at least one point in every single day where I wonder if I’m doing the right thing or if my baby is okay or how the hell I’m going to get through the next five minutes. But we’re doing it. Love is getting me through these sleepless nights. There’s no other way I could be managing.

But I’m also trying to get used to this body. I wish loving it were as easy as loving my newborn daughter but it’s not. I know - it created a human. It held my baby for nine and half months and then birthed that human and now sustains it with nutrition. It’s doing a lot right now. It’s done a lot for me. I should be thankful. And I am. But it’s also a stranger to me. It’s so soft. New marks everywhere. It’s squishy. Dark line up the middle. 25 pounds heavier. It’s my daughters favorite place to cuddle. It’s mine, it’s just different.

This whole transition has been transformational in so many ways. And I’m just getting used to it all. This baby AND this body. This new life is so good, it’s just an adjustment. And I am so grateful. But I think it’s okay to be grateful AND overwhelmed. Happy AND a little sad. Exhausted but joyful. In love...and getting used to it all.