We've been ttc for well over a year, and the last three months, I've been googling every little thing trying to get the faintest bit of hope- or maybe to confirm my own anxieties that yet again I'm not pregnant.

The End of April I was determined, no more googling.

My period is 4 days late. And I broke and googled discharge on my lunch break. And I can't tell anyone, and just.

Does anyone else over google? Because I so desperately wish I could just not.

People tell you to just be patient, or stop worrying about it / trying and it will happen. When the time is right. The universe has something for you.

And I'm feeling overwhelmingly frustrated and angry and sad. If I could stop worrying about it/thinking about it/trying, then I would. And there really is no one to talk to because it's private, but also no one wants to hear it. My partner is amazing, but Everytime I get a promising symptom his hopes get higher too.

I'm sorry if this was the wrong place for this rant. If you read it. Thank you for your time.