Hi everyone,

So, I'm 39, my husband and I have been TTC for 5.5 years (pretty much since met), more actively at times than others. As the years went by without anything we started to realize that we might need help, so I started doing acupuncture, and saw doctors who told me that I have ovarian cysts and probably endometriosis, but that my bloodwork looks good and plenty of women conceive naturally with Endo.

In December we started considering <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> and talked with a clinic, but completely out of the blue we randomly got pregnant at the end of February (I've never been pregnant before). It was such a sock and it was the happiest day of my life.

But life is cruel and we lost it at 6w2d. It was a crushing blow and I don't know if it will ever stop hurting emotionally, but we decided now we really want to go ahead with <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>.

So I scheduled an appointment for a consultation and an exam at a fertility clinic, this past Tuesday, but when she did the ultrasound she told me I have too much endometrial tissue around my ovaries, that she couldn't even see my fallopian tubes and she is not recommending <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> for us.

She was not very sensitive about it, told me that I should have been on birth control to suppress the Endo (while TTC? 🤔), and literally grabbed the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> info packet and said "I'll just take this since you won't be needing it"(??!)

The only thing she suggested is "you can always keep trying for a spontaneous pregnancy since you did get pregnant once" (No shit, lady, I hadn't thought of that! 🙄), or using an egg donor.

The thought is so hard for me since my bloodwork is normal and it seems my eggs work, but due to the Endo tissue the eggs and sperm can't connect and they can't retrieve my eggs.

I already felt broken, this totally crushed me. I just had my MC at the end of March, and we lost our 9 year old dog to cancer 2 weeks ago, and now this. It's just too much.

My husband seemed pretty positive to the idea of using a donor (when I've brought up adoption in the past he was not keen on it), but for some reason the thought is just so difficult for me. We would be using my husbands sperm and a donor egg, and something about him getting to have a child with his genes, but me watching them with another woman's genes just kills me. I don't know why... I feel like I'd just be a carrier for someone else and my husbands baby.

I know that's ridiculous, I think I'm just jealous that he still has tge option to get to see some of himself in the growing child and I wouldn't. That adoption appeals to me more as we would be on equal terms.

I'm not giving up yet and I'll be consulting other doctors about the Endo tissue, but I suppose if this is the only way we can have a child we will consider a donor...

Has anyone else been told this or are dealing with something similar?? It just seems so strange if I have working eggs that there is no way for them to retrieve them? Has anyone been told to get surgery for it? I am determined to do anything possible to figure this out!

Praying for you all!