I was at 10 weeks when I found out

Feeling like I made it to two months it was a big deal. I had morning sickness, the breakouts, swelling tatas, the works. We conceived in late February after 3 months of trying so it was shocking and exciting to us both. I started bleeding in April so I called and they did blood tests three times in one week. My level wasn't high but it was slowly going up. They wanted me to do an ultrasound to make sure it wasn't tubal. So April 15 we got to see the baby's heartbeat and it was strong. So, a good sign. They said it was conception bleeding and to monitor it. If the bleeding or cramps got worse to go to the ER. It didn't. Then I passed something two times a few days apart. Something weird looking. I looked at for a long time to see if it was the baby but couldn't tell. Then the bleeding stopped and I only bled a couple days way after that. I thought it was my body adjusting. It seemed like it would be ok from what they were telling me about bleeding/spotting being normal in the first tri. I went into my first ob appt and they gave me the huge book to read through and made sure we were doing everything right. They took blood samples. Called the next day at 9am and broke my heart into a million pieces. I kept breaking down throughout the day. I didn't know how to cope. My husband has been more than supportive. I'm trying not to blame myself. It's just hard. Now telling my parents and in laws before mother's day is almost as hard as hearing the news. They said it could've been a chromosome abnormality, but they're not for certain. I go in for a follow up US on May 15 to check my cyst on my ovary. It's just so frustrating since we did so much for this and it went wrong. I quit taking my muscle relaxer for my tmj clenching so now my teeth hurt more. And have these labial bumps that are still there reminding me. Trying to breathe and starting to tell ppl. The articles are kinda helping. I lit a candle for the babe and will probably do a fire tmrw cuz I don't feel like celebrating. I'm hoping for the next one to go better but not even thinking about trying for a month.