My vagina is broken.

Okay, not broken... but broken

I'm 20 weeks pp. During delivery they had to stitch me back together. Only 1st degree tears, but several of them up the inside of my inner labia. My inner labia split on both sides of my clitoris and that whole area no longer looks the same. The scar tissue feels irritated, itchy, especially up above my clitoris where the outer labia comes together.

Tonight, my husband said that my vagina "just doesn't feel the same." I asked what that means. Is it loose? Tight? Just different??? He used to brag that my vagina was even better after our first kid 6+ years ago, and even said it again last week. As in "her vagina was even better after the first time around."

Now I find out that "it's just different"; with this look of "I'm not trying to offend".

I'm seeing the perineal physical therapist I saw before delivery in 2 weeks. Hopefully she can help.

It doesn't help that I also haven't lost much of the baby weight and I'm feeling super self conscious about that, then add on my vagina feels "different".