Do you share your struggle openly?

Question

So at my six-year-old son's last baseball game today, talking to a mom that I have just had random meaningless conversation with. I was holding my 4 month old 
IVF
 baby and she commented the usual, how cute, what a huge age Gap, ..... Are you guys planning on having anymore babies? I said, probably, because we have plenty of Frozen embryos left. She seemed shocked, I told her our journey in a quick 30 seconds. But then she seems uncomfortable for the rest of the game. I'm not embarrassed, or ashamed of how our son came into this world, just wondering if anybody else is as open with there infertility battle.

Answer

I feel like if that lady was comfortable with asking about your babies age gap and if you are having more she should have been more ready for any answer you gave her. I think everyone is different but I personally think talking openly about infertility is amazing and not talked about enough!!

Answer

I think more people should share. 1 in 8 I think struggle to conceive... if more people talked about we'd feel less alone through the journey

Answer

That’s on her, not on you, that she was uncomfortable with that. I think there’s nothing wrong with sharing how your babies were made!

Answer

I personally think we need to talk about it more! The more people I talk to about it- the more stories I hear and people open up about their journey or someone else they know. It’s so much more common and I don’t understand why people hide it and act ashamed. We can’t help it, it sucks and having a support system and people to talk to helps. 
People that get uncomfortable just don’t understand and that’s why we need to normalize it. People talk about child birth and what it does to our bodies. Why can’t people talk about the journey and infertility just the same?

Answer

I talk about it! You will be surprised how many people have experience the same. Me talking about it made my coworker comfortable to tell me she is going through Ivf . And now we support each other. I think the more we talk, the more of when you going to have kids will stop. As they will understand it’s not as easy as you think!!

Answer

I didn’t use to, but I do now. I figure it will stop making people uncomfortable if we talk about it more openly.

Answer

I’m just starting my IVF journey and I want to be open about it with friends and family. My husband would rather keep it between us... I’m not sure I can convince him that we should tell our parents who are definitely curious but being respectful and not asking. I wish more people were open about it.

Answer

It depends who im talking about it with. My husband, im open about it all. My friends and some family, well, then i get wierd. Like i can joke about it and brush it off but when people wanna start talking about it in depth i get super self conscious and i feel really wierd. I know i shouldnt, but i do and i cant help it. My husbands friend at work told him how they had to adopt their two kids because him and his wife couldnt conceive. Now everytime they invite us over his wife wants to talk me into adoption and how its better blah blah blah. I just dont wanna talk about my struggles with people i barely know lol im wierd i guess.

Answer

Honestly I wonder if part of her reaction was jealousy...? Maybe she was like, dang I wish I had thought of doing that, or could afford that, etc. Good for you for being open about it! When it finally works for us I will have no problem with anyone knowing!!

Answer

I don’t, but I wish I could. I’ve just heard people say so many hateful things about IVF I don’t want to risk telling someone who could hurt me. We told our parents, but not our siblings. Besides the moral judgements, I’m really self conscious of how much money we spent to finally get pregnant (we had to do three cycles and six transfers) and I don’t want to be judged for not “just adopting” or something like that. I’m not even sure I want to tell our little girl until she’s old enough to be thinking about children herself.

Do you share your struggle openly?

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