Hey all!

Little background here... I was raped as a child from ages 3 to 9 by a family member. I am now 21 and have been recovering fairly well I feel. I have been in a relationship with an amazing man for 3 years and the sex has been pretty great. Long story short. ;)

In the beginning, when we started having sex, I would very often have flashbacks, panic attacks, I would dissociate or even just go along with things even though mentally I was not okay. He was and is wonderful, understanding and very patient with me. However, I had gotten to the point in the last year that I no longer had issues. Sometimes, occasionally, I would have a hard time feeling present, but it was easy enough to bring myself back.

My issue is that I've now had a set back in the last months. We've only had sex like twice in 2 months and it was extremely difficult for me. I don't feel like myself anymore and I can no longer remain present while having sex. I'm not sure what to do to get back to that good place. I don't want to push him away while I figure this out. I just feel like something's wrong with me.

Any advice? Questions?