Mamas,

I am a new mommy to a 3 month old little girl. I am not married to her father, but we have been together for about 3 years. His and my relationship has not come easy. We separated for about 6 months almost 2 years ago and have been working to get back on track since then. Some days, we are very happy. Some days, we are really not. I left him in the past because he has a very controlling nature and a lot of drama comes with being in a relationship with him. He bought a home in a town about 1.5 hours away from where I have always lived and I had my hesitations for sure, but I moved with him. He didn’t like my friends, so I slowly have lost contact with every single one of them. He sometimes gets angry if I want to go spend time with my mom or sister whom I live 1.5 hours away from. He has a son who is 7 years old and I care for this little boy so much, but he is a mess. His life is a mess so I do not blame the child at all- but it is getting to the point where it is almost scary. He gets sent home from school constantly for bad behavior (cussing, spitting, hitting, kicking, screaming) and his most recent move was threatening to blow up his school… On top of that drama, my fiance’s mother is a long term drug addict whom is constantly on and off her wagon, so I am constantly fighting with him about that and trying to ensure our family has boundaries when it comes to her. Now that is the back story.

Recently, he has been so unappreciative and unhelpful with everything I do. I recently returned to my full time job so I have to leave our baby girl every day. He works from home, but still can’t handle watching the baby- so my other sister had to come stay with us to help out. He makes very little money and I was okay with this in return for him taking on the responsibility of watching our daughter which he hasn’t done. When I get home from work, he makes me go get dinner, cook, I clean, take care of the baby, and do just about anything I can to make sure his life is easy. I have even tried to schedule date nights with him and he acts like he could care less. He does not say thank you, he doesn’t ask how he can help me out, he sleeps in every weekend while I get up and take care of BOTH kids and I just can’t take it anymore. When I voice how I’m feeling, he belittles me and makes it seem like I’m just complaining. I don’t want my daughter to be raised in a home where she sees her mom being walked on like a door mat. I feel like I am just a paycheck to him because I pay all of our bills. I am contemplating leaving, but I have my reservations because I do care for him and I didn’t want my daughter to grow up in a divided home.

I just don’t feel like I’m in a relationship with this person. I don’t feel like he is my partner or has any respect for me.

My question is, what do I do? I am getting into therapy in a few weeks, but he refuses to join. I am slowly losing it.

Thanks in advance ladies.

How long can baby sleep in a bassinet?