For years, I have always thought I want to be a Pediatric Nurse because I have always love kids and want to be part of a team that takes care of them. When I was 3 years old, I was raped multiple times by a family friend. That was part of a reason I want to be a Pediatric Nurse because I want to be a person who helps and takes good care of children.

Recently, I started babysitting my friend’s kids who are both girls. A 5 year old and a 1 year old. I find myself being afraid to touch them because I’m scared of being inappropriate even though I know I’m not. The 5 year old likes to sit on me where her legs are wrapped around me. I immediately changed her position because that was the position I was in when I was raped and I started to panic. However, the 5 year old always think I’m being playful and would go back to hugging me that way which I’m really uncomfortable with.

Now I am questioning whether I want to be a Pediatric Nurse. All of a sudden, I’m starting to doubt my abilities to be a good nurse. I don’t know what’s happening with me but I’m really bothered by this 😞