I’m bulimic and I hate myself. I have anxiety, and every so often, I get to this place of not caring and self sabotage. The anxiety and behaviors get to be too much so I just stop throwing up, and numb my feelings with alcohol and weed. I’m lonely and not because I CANT hang out with people. I’m just so ashamed of myself. I look HORRENDOUS. I’m the biggest I’ve been in years and all the eating(and digesting) SHOWS. I profess to myself such guilt/shame for eating/not throwing up/general lack of care for myself, then I tell myself I’ll get it together, and I just don’t and I just end up feeling worse. I don’t know what to do and honestly, I’m feeling really hopeless. I don’t really have a point for this post, I guess. Sorry for the rant.