I love him but the sex is whack

I love him so much but the sex life is whack, we’ve introduced so much new stuff too. I’m all for people doing what makes them comfortable, but I’m just getting annoyed. I cook for us, clean up for us, organise everything, plan everything, prepare everything and the least I could get in return is some passion. He wanted to try anal for ages, we did it and I loved it and he don’t wanna do it again as no point, i ate/licked his ass as he wanted to try it and loved it but wouldn’t return, I love being licked out and he hardly does it unless I ask, he always wants me on top doing reverse, he never ever initiates Sex: he just tries to get me to give him a blow job or hand job as he loves them which I do, but some days I’ve done it and not even been touched in return. When he does go on top, it lasts like 3 minutes. I’ve brought Dildos, vibrators, books, toys, edibles, outfits and he just isn’t bothered about it which again is fine but I just really want to be ‘ f***d hard and passionate. Or something spontaneous, but even the idea of sexy anywhere other than our room is a big no for him. When I ask him to go on top, he sighs and says only if I finish it😫 I don’t get it, he adores me and makes me feel so sexy and always say he’s fancies me but only wants a bj and that’s it. We’ve spoke about it so many times too!! I’ve got the point where I’ve had to say to him to finger me because I’ve been needing some attention. Now I feel put off and feel like I’m loosing the sexual attraction. I know relationships isn’t about sex, and I don’t want to sound mean but i sometimes feel he’s being lazy! I love him but it is a big factor if I’m going to spend the rest of my life with this man. I always go out way to please him and I feel like I have no sexual satisfaction . I’ve tried talking to him but getting no where 😫😫😫