How to help my daughter after her dads suicide?

Question

My 8 year old daughters dad committed suicide completely out of of the blue last month.
My daughter coped ok at first and now it’s become a disaster. She sees a therapist, but aside from what I’m desperate for some tips on how to help her. 
She DOESNT SLEEP. And wants to be in my room. so I DO let her sleep with me however the therapist is telling me not let her and to enforce the rules so I have been confused. 
I’m pregnant and I’m not sleeping either. And idk if I should let her sleep with me or I force her to sleep in her bedroom. Any advice? :(

Accepted Answer

Let her sleep with you. You’re literally all she has now. It’s only been a month. She doesn’t want to be alone. My step daughter slept with her dad after eight years in the army for ten months. I’m sorry this has happened. It’s tragic.

Answer

I don't think this is a time to enforce the rules even though the therapist suggests it. You are all she has now and she is probably also scared of loosing you too. She is only 8 and probably doesn't understand, she is heartbroken. So if sleeping with you calms her, i personally would continue to let her. I'm so sorry💔

Answer

Let her sleep with you. It won’t last forever.

Answer

I lost my father as a teenager (17)and I slept with my mom for about a month after it had happened. My mom would call them “sleepovers”, it helped the both of us, we were both there when my father died so it was hard on the both of us to see something like that. It really helped knowing that I had my mom and I wasn’t alone. I would continue to let your daughter sleep with you. It won’t last forever but right now she needs you.

Answer

Sleep with her mama, you spend as much time with her as you can. I hope that she (and you) will find peace within your healing. ❤️

Answer

I agree with the others. Now is not the time to force her to be alone. I’d let her sleep with you, but let her know that when she is ready - she will go back to her own bed.

Answer

Find a new therapist for sure. The advice goes against your instincts as a mother. Did you know the therapists job is to support you as well as your daughter? Find someone who does this.

Answer

Even though the therapist told you not to let her sleep with you I still would. Your daughter is looking at you for comfort and I think it’s important she gets it from you. She might be afraid she’ll lose you as well so she wants to be around you to know that you’ll be there. These next few months of healing are extremely important to her

Answer

My dad also committed suicide. Two years ago. I’m so sorry for all the two of you must be going through. My advice is to let her sleep with you. This is obviously not typical for her to want to do so she’s dealing with some dark feelings. It may be nightmares. I had nightmares for a long time after my dad’s death as well. She may have developed a fear of abandonment which is common with suicide. She may have a fear of losing you too which is why she wants to be with you at night when she feels the most uncertain. 
In my experience, there really is no right way to deal with this. Trust your instincts as her mother. You know best what is normal for your child and what may be related to the trauma and grief of losing her father this way. It’s going to take a lot of time and the grief is going to take on different forms throughout her life.

Answer

Let her be with her momma please. I understand where she’s coming (in a sense, my dad didn’t commit suicide it was a car accident) all she needs is her momma to hold her right now. My mother and I seen a therapist for 4-5 years after my fathers death & she told my mother the same thing but she didn’t listen to her & my mother let me sleep with her from the time he died when I was 6 until I was 18 & moved out. It was only me and her after that so why not? I needed her just as much as she needed me!

How to help my daughter after her dads suicide?

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