3 years.

Today marks three years of trying to get pregnant.

Today my af showed again but minutes after my brother in laws girlfriend told me she took a test this morning and it was positive.

Their first month of trying.

Just like last year when my cousin got pregnant their first month of trying.

Just like my sister getting pregnant after being with her boyfriend for a month.

I can’t deal with it.

I just want to scream at the top of my long until I can’t breathe.

I keep trying to think happy thoughts but I’m full of anger.

I just don’t get it.

I hate it.

I hate myself for not getting pregnant. I don’t understand. Why hasn’t it happened for us?