Could you forgive this?

So maybe around 2016 my fiancé and I had a miscarriage. It was awful, It happened while i was at my college classes, the pain was unbearable (I thought it was a period). I excused myself to the bathroom where I proceeded to keep bleeding badly and passed out and awoke to find I had a miscarriage, and confirmed it later. My fiancé was too video game obsessed to care. He thought I had no need to be so depressed and I was being a dramatic female. I find out now, (in 2019) that back in 2016 when I had this miscarriage that he was finishing inside me without me knowing, and this was the time where I was between birth control pills. I was honestly pretty clueless about contraceptives, and while I knew we had risks I thought we where still being safe. I know better now.

I feel all kinds of pain and anger knowing he did it on purpose and didn’t even feel anything when I did loose the baby. I don’t know why he did that anyway if he acted so cold towards my miscarriage? We are not engaged anymore, but he is my boyfriend, we are both not ready for marriage. I feel differently towards him now, I don’t feel love anymore for him. This man loves me greatly, almost to a fault, he is always being sweet and kind. He is in a lot better place in life now and he is working on his

Control issues. I am afraid to tell him I don’t feel like I’m in love anymore, he has a history of depression. But also because he is going to say things like how good he’s doing in life, and I would be taking away his motivation to do anything with himself if we break up, and I don’t have a right to do that to a person because of something that happened in the past.

Am I not being fair? Should I try to forget about this because it’s in the past? How do I feel something for him again knowing everything now?