I’m in a very dark place emotionally so I apologize in advance for how all over the place this is. But I guess I just need to vent why I resent him. I’m hoping saying it will help me get over it, because talking to him makes it worse. And hopefully someone will have some insight.

Trigger warning because sensitive topics are brought up and some foul language.

1) He thinks he can control how I spend money I saved up.

I wanted a new tattoo, he said “no, I haven’t gotten one in a while. You can’t get one before me.” When I told him I’d saved up $800 for it, he told me I can either “put it toward debt or car parts.” Why can’t I spend money I saved up how I fucking want?

2) he wants to control my career path.

I’m in the military. He’s upset that he used to outrank me and now I outrank him. I also am “not allowed to re-enlist.” I love what I do. So I suggested becoming a police officer when I get out, and “no.”

3) He thinks he can pick my birth control.

New abortion laws came out. My husband made it clear he is very anti-abortion. We have two kids. Pregnancy and motherhood is really fucking hard on my mental health (will elaborate later) and I don’t want anymore. So if birth control fails, I can’t get an abortion because he’d divorce me. He won’t get a vasectomy and I’m not allowed to go on any form of birth control that isn’t the pill.

4) He doesn’t help out with our two children.

We have two under two. He hasn’t changed a diaper in over a week. He won’t take care of our youngest. He gets frustrated in 30 seconds with our oldest (but yells at me when it’s been a difficult day and I finally get frustrated??). He absolutely refuses to be alone with the two babies so I can go to the store by myself. I haven’t had alone time in almost two years, but he gets to go out drinking with his friends.

5) He doesn’t help with household chores.

I’m on maternity leave, so that automatically means I need to have everything handled. “There are no clean forks” “why don’t I have any clean underwear” “the house is cluttered” “you know you really need to clean our sons room” “you really need to be more careful about ...” bitch help me.

6) I can’t have PPD.

I don’t even fucking know with this one. He doesn’t think it’s a thing I guess and when I mention my worries of it he thinks I’m overreacting.

7) he pressured me into sex before I was ready.

He makes me feel bad for not wanting to have sex. Today he pretty much just made me do it. Like he was just rubbing on me which is whatever to me, but then he just stuck it in after I said I don’t want sex and I don’t feel sexy. Like I just hit 6 weeks postpartum you fucking asswipe. Get over yourself.

8) He makes fun of my hairline and the way I say things.

Idk where it came from but all of a sudden he just makes fun of me.

9) he hates when I ask my dad for help

Idk man

10) I can’t have guy friends from work but he can tell a girl he works with that he took his pants off in the car.

Fuck your double standards bro.

11) this is ridiculous BUT STOP TAKING UP MY HALF OF THE BED.

Like, straw that broke the camel’s back, get the fuck off my side. Stop moving when you sleep, you keep hitting me with your stupid fucking arms. Stop talking in your sleep. Just stay still and on your fucking side bro. This is the only alone time I get.