She’s ruining my marriage

My mother in law has always pushed my buttons. When I was planning our wedding, she pushed me to a point where I almost did not want to marry my husband because of her. I almost left him because of it. I have never once spoke of this to him, I know it would crush him. Well now, almost a year and one new baby later. I’m having these same feelings.. I feel so guilty because she has never given me an exact and specific reason to hate her. Mainly though the thing that drive me to the edge it that she does not listen. She does not respect boundaries. She’s nosy and needy and I just hate her. I try to tell myself I don’t have a reason for the hate I feel towards her and try to coexist for my husbands sake. I feel awful for feeling like I’m making him pick between me and our daughter and his mother. Then again, he always and very explicitly expresses his dislike for my mother as well.. I just feel like my dislike for her is driving a wedge between him and I. I don’t want her to come and visit us every single month (we are in different states). I’ve told him this and he just says “it’s one weekend you can deal with it.” But I truly can’t. I puke at the thought of her being around and making me uncomfortable in my own home. I’ve told him I’d take our daughter and get a hotel for the weekend when they come. He tells me no. But yet when my family comes to visit (very rarely, and only being invited by me) he gets so drunk and goes in the bedroom and passes out before dinner. My heart is breaking because I love him and my little family more than anything in this world. I just can’t deal with her.. I’m losing myself trying. I’m broken. I’m lost. I don’t know what to even do