Let me say this before I get into the story. I THINK I knew something was wrong I was googling miscarriage before I even knew about mine. I was “stumbling” upon topics like this very one several times a day. I don’t know if it was mother’s intuition or the Lord preparing me but it happened.

I went for what was my 7 week appointment. They did an early ultrasound and my poor little baby stopped growing at 5 weeks and 5 days. My OB, bless her heart, tried to get me to be optimistic about the situation but I told her I felt it in my heart this was the end. She hugged and told me it was going to be ok either way. I left the office with my head held high because I wasn’t going to allow anyone to see me cry. I sit down in my car and immediately started shaking! I cried for the baby my body failed. I cried so hard and so long my eyes hurt. I get home and cry some more until I fall asleep. I wake up this morning and I’m spotting bright red. I call my OB and let her know. She is the best! She told me everything was going to be fine and that when we are ready to try again she will be a phone call away. I was ok today. No crying until a family member said Jenn I’m so sorry. That triggered me and the biggest tears just started pouring. I couldn’t contain them! I cried so hard I made no noise. I have never felt non physical pain like this in my life! As I sit here writing this I’m waiting for all of this to be over. I know that sounds horrible and I apologize. I keep telling myself the Lord has blessed me with two beautiful babies, a son and a daughter. I will be ok! I will be fine! I will get through this! For everyone that is due January 2020 I will be praying for a healthy 7-8 months and a beautiful baby to be in your presence at the end of this pregnancy.