This may sounds ridiculous to some.. and I’ve never said it out loud before now.. and I know it’s silly because I wouldn’t wish this time I’ve struggled upon anyone.. so I know it mustn’t be true.

But I can’t help it... at this point in my cycle.. every cycle since like last summer (I’m in Canada) I feel like it’s okay that I got another BFP cuz I must just be shit and I don’t deserve it... but then it makes me so sad because my husband is a saint and he does 😣 this sounds a lot more self loathing than I truly feel... it’s more so a frustrating feeling.. because I don’t know how to be better... and at the end of the day I know it’s science and biology and none of these horrible things I tell myself but I can’t help but feel so disappointed in myself.

I’m jw if anyone else ever feels like this.. because the feeling comes on so fast and so furious. One minute I’m okay, the next I think about it and it’s chill like ‘of course you’re not pregnant, you’re a shit person’ and the next it’s overwhelming sadness...

I really really really wanted to be able to surprise my husband and tell him on fathers days.. and I’m out, again. I dunno. I guess I’m just really sad right now 🤣🙈😜

AF is also always days away when I get like this... I guess that doesn’t help 🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃 crazy lady over here...