Pre marriage counseling - helpful or don’t bother?

Question

Did you and your partner do pre marriage counseling? Would you recommend it ? What are your tips for engaged couples? My fiancé and I got engaged a few months ago and come from very different backgrounds. We’ve had rough spots like every couple but have worked through everything and have a pretty close relationship. Marriage is a serious commitment though and so I guess I want to prepare us the best I can for success. What are your best tips??

Answer

Never go to bed angry at each other. 
Communication and compromises are always key to great relationships as well.
My hubby and I have together for 22 years and we are still very much in love. No counseling needed. We are always super honest with each other and we talk about everything. 🥰

Answer

Read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and download the app that follows the book. 
Always be honest and open. I agree with other posters, communication truly is key.
Relationship workshops really do help and are a lot of fun!!

Answer

My husband and I were together for 5 years before we got married and had been living together for 4. We went to premarital counseling because it was something we both believed in. We both come from broken homes and divorced parents. We actually learned things about each other that we never even talked about or REALIZED we needed to talk about. It was all about learning how to deal with the conflicts that could come with marriage. People like to say marriage isn’t any different than dating but honestly, it is in my opinion. It’s much easier (cheaper) to leave a relationship than it is a marriage. The pain is still there but you bring in a bunch of new factors when you’re actually legally married. Your finances are combined, your on a family insurance, your buying homes with both of your names, your making plans for future children, your learning how to balance out both sides of the family and so on and so on. I’m thankful we did it and if I could go back, I’d do it again. But in the end, it’s all about what you and your SO want, do what you feel is right and what you believe in.

Answer

Do you already live together? I lived with my husband for 2 yrs before we got married and being married has changed nothing. I think it could be useful if you haven’t lived together yet though.

Answer

Here’s how you do pre marriage counseling:
1) Have someone drive you out into the middle of nowhere, blindfolded, so you don’t know how to get back. Then leave you there and let you two find your way back together. See how you work together.
2) Listen to a recording of a screaming baby crying all night long. See how you handle stress together.
3) Ask tough questions. Find out each other’s definitions of the words love, respect, loyalty, and cheating. 
4) Make sure you’re on the same page regarding extended family and their boundaries, and parenting your own children.
5) Design a home (imaginary). Then talk about who will do what in it. 
6) Don’t ever give up. 
And yes, I do believe that some counselors can help you with these things.

Answer

Kind of... we went to a strengthening marriage class that his dad was teaching before we were married and it was fun, but kind of annoying too because we were the only young couple and got teased a lot because apparently we didn’t know anything. 😕 My husband and I were high school sweethearts so we knew each other longer than most couples do when they get married.

Answer

It was a requirement of our pastor. We did an online assessment by ourselves before we met with him. All he did was point out the areas that may be an area of challenge for us and gave us strategies on how to navigate those times. It helped that he’s one of my husband’s best friends so we felt comfortable with him.

Pre marriage counseling - helpful or don’t bother?

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