What’s wrong with me?

I just really want to air these feelings out because its been bothering for such a long time.

So about me, I’m 21 and I’m a nurse, as growing up I always had friends all around me. Honestly, I’ve noticed I had different best friends every year. I would lose friends and gain more. In nursing school I was friends with everyone even when there were groups. People would share things to me and I swear on my life I wouldn’t share them. But I had a tendency I would put my business on blast but that’s my information.

I was always going out and get turned up since I was 17

Now I’m home every weekend. I just got myself a second job so I would work and not stay home all day.

I understand that I’ve dropped people left and right because they were not trust worthy or they brought too much drama. I’ve always tried to listen more than talk about myself especially with friends that are not in the same position as me. I’m not full of myself I’m just proud because of how dark and painful my past was and learned there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and things can turn around and still have a open heart to people.

I recently lost my best friend for 5 years over some guy she’s in love with and that honestly has broken my heart. She was the only person I felt comfortable around and I can share anything too and talk about me. And now she sees me like everyone else rooting against this lame fuck she’s so in love with.

Past couple of months my only friend outside of work and my family was a guy I was FWB, I had to drop him because I was gaining feelings.

Yes it feels great to have more money flow and I’m building credit and savings but I feel forgotten.