So I know therapy is the #1 advice, but I really cannot afford it.

I just need to know some real life advice or suggestions for what you have done if this is something you relate to?

In 2015 I was in an emotionally abusive relationship that I ran away from and wound up very confused and in 2016 I wound up in worse relationships with crazy men who were actually verbally and physically abusive while on hard drugs that have made me a terrified person ever since...

I've been clean from drugs and havent had those kinds of relationships anymore whatsoever and never plan to do drugs again but the memories have scarred me and now I sometimes catch myself playing the victim in my relationship.

Hes never hurt me and he is the sweetest guy I've ever been with but even if he just yells I wind up crying and my heart races like I'm going to get hurt again. I hate it. Nothing else goes through my mind except that I might die.

I've explained to my SO why im like that and hes worked on his end to fix his yelling but I know I need to suck it up and get over the past.

Do you ladies have any suggestions that can help? And kind of thoughts? 💜